This one time in china I saw a sign in a public restroom over a toilet "Please don't stand on the WC". Funny how I had never considered that before.
This one time in China my brother said condoms in Chinese were called "jizbombs".
This one time in China I realized that even the Chinese think my brother is cool.
This one time in China J(my brother's friend) said he felt like we were in Oz. We followed a yellow brick road every where (A yellow stripe was on all the sidewalks, under them are the pipes, or so we were told). You were supposed to ignore the man behind the curtain which could either refer to all the cameras on lampposts, or all the men standing on the sides of the roads (or sidewalks)peeing. And lastly, we most certainly were not in Kansas anymore.
This one time in China my brother and I called our youngest brother in Buffalo, NY for his birthday. It was 1 am his time. We scored his first birthday wish of the day! This lead to a brief thought about paybacks. So, the following rule has been set...
*To make a birthday greeting call at an ungodly hour the following must occur;
- A minimum of two family members who reside in different homes must be in the same location, using one phone and can only call on the actual birthday of the other family member.
Violation of this may be punishable by noogies, wedgies, excessive teasing and unfair practices at the next penny scramble. These are, as of now actual posted rules, and must be adhered to. They are enforceable regardless of city, country or continent.
This one time in China I bought a 20 oz. Coke Light (version of Diet Coke, but not as "AHHH-licious") and a good size bucket of popcorn (almost tasted like kettle corn) for 14rmb...roughly $2. I had paid $2.69 for a 20 oz. Diet Coke at the Chicago airport.
This one time in China we had the funniest taxi driver. He spoke very little English, but just how you would imagine a Chinese person would talk with Americans. He had such a nice smile and such broken English and was so happy. "Hello, Where you going." Just thinking about it makes me smile. He also slapped away my sister in law's hands as she used them to give directions...very funny.
This one time in China my brother told me they have a half marathon on the Great Wall. I can't even imagine. Parts of it were so steep (see photo) and there were so many stairs.
This one time in China I went to the Forbidden City, the Ming Tombs, the Great Wall of China. I shopped the Pearl Market and Yoshow in Beijing. I went to the Beijing Zoo and saw panda bears and beluga whale. I went to IKEA for the first time.
This one time in China I drank a whole beer and ate a meal completely with chopsticks. I even had thirds of green beans, which I don't normally like.
This one time in China I had two wonderful foot massages. Actually these two times in China I had a wonderful foot massage.
This one time in China a girl moved on the subway to a different spot and I took her spot...she didn't call 'place back'.
This one time I went to China and didn't talk to my kids or husband for 6 entire days and the world didn't stop, we all survived, even though it was the longest I have gone without my kids in nearly 20 years.
This one time in China I remembered how truly fortunate I am to have a hard working, supportive husband, healthy, intelligent kids and a nice home overflowing with material stuff, electricity, soap, water, toilet paper and love.
This one time in China I had an incredible, delightful adventure with my generous brother and equally amazing sister in law, but there is no place like home.
*The previous series of blogs was brought to you courtesy of my observations during my trip to Beijing, China. I mean no harshness in my words, I do not mean to portray Chinese people as rude, they are simply Chinese and do things differently than most Americans. I had a great time sightseeing and people watching. If you want to read more about Chinese experiences, check out my brother and sister in law's blog http://www.roamingfryer.com/ . They are living in China for my brother's job and have made many observations. They really are about the coolest people I have ever met.
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