One morning I must have been heavily jet lag influenced as I pushed the button on the elevator to get to the lobby. The elevator arrived, the doors opened, I got on, the doors closed. Nothing. The elevator didn't move. Only I didn't notice.
At this hotel, you needed to slide your room key in the elevator to make the elevator move. I had gotten into the elevator and not only failed to slide my card, but didn't even attempt to push any buttons. I just stood there. It wouldn't have been as humiliating, but after several moments someone else pushed the 'down' button to request an elevator and I realized I was still on my floor. Dumb American.
The other thing your room key does, besides unlock your door, is it operates the electricity in your hotel room. Your key must be in the slot to make the lights work. My brother told me this the day I arrived, and since I had two keys, I just left one in the slot at all times (It allowed the air conditioning to stay on, otherwise I would walk into a warm room). Since I placed my extra key in the slot and left it there, I never thought about it again.
Night four of my stay as I climbed into bed I noticed that the bed was missing a top sheet. It as midnight though and I didn't want to call housekeeping (there would have been a language barrier anyway) and I had my pajamas on so walking to the English speaking concierge was out of the question. I just slept without the sheet...trying not to think about who slept in the bed before I arrived or when the last time that cover was washed.
In the morning I noticed a light bulb in the bathroom was burned out. Whatever. I got ready for the day and was gone until dinner time. When I came back to my room to freshen up for dinner I had no power. I figured it was just another thing gone wrong, you know how things seem to come in threes? Well, I figured no power was my number three. So, I went down to the concierge and said the lights weren't working in my room. She said "Is your key in the slot." DUH! I hadn't even thought about it. I wish I could've seen the look on my face. I must have looked so funny. I stumbled over my words..."I don't know, I have just been leaving the card there..." Anyway, the girl was so nice, she just went ahead and made me a new key. I went back to my room and sure enough, housekeeping had adjusted the (original) key so that it was hanging out of the slot. They also put the top sheet back on the bed. And changed the light bulb. Dumb American.
I needed more cash to shop with, so I headed down to the ATM. I do not travel internationally often. In fact, my passport had expired since my last international trip, which was also my first international trip. (And I didn't have an ATM card the last trip) So, I get to the ATM machine and push the "English" key. I follow the prompts, which includes strict warnings about looking for cameras, wiping the keys off before entering you PIN and making sure nobody is around you.
After several prompts, I get to the screen for withdrawal amounts. I punch in $100. In my mind, I had pushed "English" at the beginning of the session, so I expected to receive the equivalent of $100 US dollars, but in Renminbi (rmb). Nope. I received 100 rmb...about $16 US dollars. Dumb American.
In an effort to lessen the number of shoes I packed (which was 5) I did not pack tennis shoes. I did pack a pair of Croc mary janes (no jokes please, I find them very comfy). Anyway, I had developed a blister the day before heading to the Great Wall. My Crocs were my best walking shoes. I decided I would just wear socks with the Crocs. I was trying to say how Chinese I would look wearing the socks (all the Chinese women wear these ankle high socks with their shoes)but then decided I wanted to say how silly I would look. Well, it came how "I look chilly." My brother thought I said it perfectly...adding a 'ch' to the start of any word automatically makes it Chinese. (We are aware we need to have our hand baskets close at hand)I don't know if the lack of tennis shoes being packed, or the socks with Crocs qualifies for a Dumb American tag or not. The socks did help me blend in though. At least from the ankles down. I also learned a valuable lesson. Always pack more shoes.
Pictured below are my pink Crocs with socks and typical ankle socks the Chinese women wear with ALL types of shoes)
Photo of sign with Chinese spelling (of Taxi)
I have new respect for foreign travelers. I will be less harsh joking about their faux pas and their stereotypical photo taking behaviors. After all, I spent a week in their country being the "Dumb American" taking pictures of toilets, baby butts and footwear choices.
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