Recently I was reacquainted with a friend from high school. She asked about me, seeing as how we haven't been in contact for 25 years. So I sent her this slightly smart alec-y response. Actually, I liked what I wrote, so I then used it for my facebook bio. I have added a bit to it since I sent it to my friend, and I still want to edit a bit at the end, but I like it. It read like this:
I am 5'2" with hazel eyes. They used to be dark brown, but with age are fading to hazel..browner or greener depending on what I'm wearing. I like to scrapbook, and cook. I want to write a childrens book and run a marathon. My favorite places to go are Petoskey Michigan, and Disneyworld. I recently went to Hilton Head with my mom and like that too. So, I guess I am a beach person, which surprised me. I think it's because it's so calm at the beach.
I like to sleep. I have four children. Sleep and children are not a good mix. I love to sing and dance. I'll sing anything...except rap. I am really good at singing "Red Neck Woman" , "Before He Cheats" , "My Last Name" and "Roxie". Just don't ask my kids if that's true.
I collect pig things, I don't know why...it started with Miss Piggy. My favorite color is lime green. I drink WAY too much diet coke. I love junk food and don't eat any veggies. I still am not certain what I want to be when I grow up.
I would love to be a high heel wearing, perfectly manicured, well accessorized, trendy clothes wearing person. However, my life is much more suited to my Crocs , jeans and ponytails. So I guess I'll save the other stuff for "special occasions."
I am slightly OCD about making lists and my calendar. I write and rewrite lists and use several calendars...I don't like them to get messy. (Please refer to sentence about having four kids, my calendars are ALWAYS messy!) OK, maybe slightly OCD isn't the right wording...Anyway, I spend so much time making lists that the items on the lists could be completed. But, then I would have no place to cross off my accomplishments.
I drive a tan Dodge caravan that I love. It was the first new car I ever picked out, test drove and bought. It is 8 years old...nearly 90,000 mile on it. I love it. I will probably cry when it dies. I have 2 dogs, 2 cats, a rabbit, 2 african water frogs. I love to clean the house and organize. I should have been a 1950's housewife.
I have made many mistakes in my life, and hopefully have learned from them. I am the person I am because of the mistakes I have made and the experiences I have had, good, bad or ugly.
Then yesterday, my daughter (who is a junior in high school) gives me this paper from one of her teachers. It's an assignment for parents to do, but the student will get 5 bonus points. All I had to do was to send the teacher an email and describe my child in 1000 words or less. I sent this:
Dear Ms. Taylor,
My daughter is the second of four children in our family. She looks up to her older brother (a freshman in college), shares a room (unhappily) with her 8th grade sister, and is extremely helpful and adoring of... her 5 year old brother.
She is a very responsible young lady. She is taking a very tough load of classes,including Jr. ROTC, participates in student government, is a representative for the chorus, has a supervisory role at her job (2-3 nights a week), is a member of the high school swim team and still manages to babysit for neighbors, have a social life with friends, get her homework done, take drivers ed., sew and shop. The only thing that she doesn't have time for is cleaning her room, but that topic we will save for another time. She has talked about being a Dentist when she grows up. She likes fish as pets, but nothing with fur. Her favorite color is orange. She hates meatloaf. And potatoes.
She is a happy, chatty, funny girl. She takes life seriously in the respect that she gives anything she tackles 100% devotion. She works very hard to succeed and has high standards for herself. All the while enjoying herself.
Enjoy your school year! Thanks for your time!
Proud Mother of Amazing Girl
My daughter did not like this. She was embarrassed. She said I overshared. One of my friends said "'Overshare' is teen code for 'I'm self conscious about all those compliments, but I'm actually really flattered and secretly pleased.' The eyeball rolling that probably accompanied the conversation was sign language for 'Thanks, Mom, I love you, too!'" I hope she's right.
I was grateful that child two had this assignment, not child three. I love child three, really, I do. child three is just much different than children one and two. I feel that I don't relate as well with her, or maybe I relate too well... Anyway, all that made me feel bad. This is what I would write if she had such an assignment:
Dear Mrs. Jones,
Thank you for wanting to know a little something about my daughter. Unfortunately, the child you see in class is different than the child I see at home. I know this because I have gotten several phone calls from school raving about what a wonderful child I have. After I make sure they have dialed the correct number and are talking about MY child, I am always amazed.
From what I gather, the child you will see is smart, funny, helpful, kind, considerate, talented, polite and downright delightful! I should warn you that her appearance may be one that leaves you wondering "Where is her Mother?" as I am quite certain she changes her clothing and applies makeup once she is at school.
The child I see is a sassy mouthed, impatient, loud, hand on hip, finger wagging "That's not fair"-ing, fashionista wannabe. She makes my head spin. She wants to be 22 years old RIGHT now!
She was the baby in our family for nine years. It is a role she not only loved, but excelled in, even her body cooperated. She started kindergarten weighing a mere 30 pounds. The dethroning of her baby status when her brother was born was hostile. It was paired with a family relocation to a new state several hundred miles away. Life was not fun. This was the peak of her diva stage...well, until she hit age 13.
She is involved in student council, chorus, track and drama. I am particularly proud of her drama involvement. It is quite evident that she has a flair for drama, she may as well use the talent on a stage where she will be applauded and recognized for her talents.
Mrs. Jones, I certainly don't mean to scare you. As I said, you will see a very different child than I see, and your days spent with her should be fine and go smoothly. If at any point in time you wish to share the delightful child you see, I would be happy to visit your classroom.
Thank you for your interest,
Proud Mother of Teenage Drama Queen
OK, OK, I can hear you all saying how horrible I am! Really, I adore my daughters, both of them. They both leave me in awe. One because she is self motivating, driven, strong, independent, and the other because she is so much like me. I need to apologize to my Mother again.
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