When I was a kid, all the parents taught their kids to say "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." It wasn't exactly true, the words still hurt your feelings, but the thought is a nice one, that words can't hurt you.
The technology of today has many, many benefits. It helps in all areas of our daily lives. Technology also has it's down side. Spoken words can hurt feelings, but they are usually said once, maybe in anger or in teasing. Typed words are repeated over and over and over. Typed words tend to be harsher than spoken words. It's easier to say harsh words in type than it is to say those words face to face.
My daughter is a freshman in high school. Yesterday a friend of hers committed suicide. It seems this boy was bullied. Bullying isn't something new, it happens in communities all over. You hear the stories on the news. It's sad. It's not right. Freshman should not be going to funerals for friends.
Are we as parents so busy with our daily life that we don't realize our kids are hurting? Are we so distracted that we don't notice our kids harassing another kid? Have we as a society put such a stigma on asking for help, that kids simply try to handle things themselves? Have we given our kids so much, so instantly, that they want a quick solution to end their teenage pain? Have we allowed teasing to go so far that kids feel tortured? We need to find a solution. Too many young people are mistreating others. Too many young people are ending their lives too early.
Sticks and stones will most definitely break bones. But what we are learning is that words can kill. Choose your words carefully. Hug your kids. Tell the people in your life you love them.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
A Tale of Two Colleges
Once upon a time, a young girl, full of wonder, hopes and dreams, spent hours thinking about her future. She thought about getting married and having a family. She thought about the family growing up. She thought about her children's milestones. She thought about their first steps, first teeth, losing those teeth, riding a bike, first kisses, first heartbreaks, high school graduations, and heading to college.
What this young girl never thought about were road blocks. Or detours.
Once upon a more recent time, the young girl became an older woman. She had a young lady of her own. This young lady was filed with intelligence, determination and dreams. This young lady was named Morgan. She has a smile that was infectious. She had brains and beauty. She wanted it all and I could see no reason why she shouldn't have it all. Of course, this would make a weak story...
Morgan grew up quickly, even for a fairy tale. She suddenly turned 18 and was in her last year of high school. Her father had a good job. He worked hard to provide for the family. He worked so hard that his company thought he could be of better use in another town, all the way across the countryside from where his family currently resided. Now this little family was always up for an adventure! However, the timing of this adventure was tricky.
Morgan had spent much of her energy in the community. She wanted (and deserved) to be celebrated in this community for her high school graduation. Although Morgan is a friendly soul and makes new friends quickly, now was not the right time to do so. The move to a new village could jeopardize this celebration. This move also complicated the desire to go to college.
As you may know, college is a competitive market. There are many, many choices. Choosing a college has many factors. College size, male to female ratio, cost, location, and available studies need to be considered. Now, our fair maiden had chosen a college, a very good fit for her, in her current little countryside. It had everything she was looking for...but it was in the old countryside, not the new village. This perfect little college was now no longer a feasible choice.
While all this graduation and college thought was going on, the hard working king of the family had to move without his family to the new village. He established residency in the new village in an attempt to assist the fair maiden Morgan in choosing a college in the new village.
After some negotiating, list making, phone calls, video viewing and soul searching, the maiden decided to apply to two colleges in the new village. We will call them "Plan B" and "The Back-up Plan".
The Back-up Plan responded quickly to her application. They noticed her good grades and gave her a scholarship. Morgan was happy. Then we looked at a map and saw that The Back-up Plan was over the river and through the woods and then past the Troll bridge. It was at least a half day's journey from our new village. We also noticed that the Back-up Plan considered Morgan an outsider, not a member of the village, so they wanted to have her pay extra riches to attend.
At this point, the very loyal, very organized Queen, the mother of Morgan, sent a messenger to The Back-up Plan explaining the series of (unfortunate) events that had led us to the doors of The Back-up Plan. She explained how the King has been living in the village for quite some time even though his adoring family lived across the way, awaiting their home to be purchased by another beautiful family. The Back-up Plan was very kind. They were very helpful. They saw the predicament the young maiden was in and agreed to only take the typical amount of riches from a family from the village, not the inflated amount of riches from an outsider family. This brought a good deal of joy to the family.
Now, Plan B took longer to answer the maiden's application. In fact, it took several messengers and telegrams to get Plan B to respond at all. After what seemed like an entire harvest season, the maiden finally heard that Plan B was also interested in her attendance at their University. This was very good news! But, as happened previously, she soon realized that Plan B also wanted to charge her many more riches than the average villager because Plan B felt Morgan was an outsider.
The lovely Queen once again sent a messenger. She explained to Plan B the turmoil in the family's life. She explained the actions The Back-up Plan had taken. She hoped Plan B would be able to see the quandary surrounding this fair maiden and see that her family had taken every possible step to ensure the maiden would be a villager by the time classes started. Plan B was not so friendly. Plan B has lots of hoops and dances and paperwork that needed to be sorted out and worked through before they would consider investigating the family's plea to be considered a villager so that the fair maiden can attend Plan B. Have I yet mentioned that Plan B is where the young maiden would really like to go? Have I mentioned that Plan B is merely a hop, skip and a jump plus a rocks throw from the new village?
In the end,regardless of Plan B's decision, the fair maiden Morgan, her siblings, the hardworking King and the lovely Queen, will all live happily ever after. Morgan will still be attending college. We just don't know the distance she will need to travel and the extent of riches we will need to accumulate to get her there.
In this fairy tale we have learned that there is never a "right" time. That things worthwhile are never easy. That every detour and road block is a learning experience. Mostly we have considered how very much the lovely Queen will miss the fair maiden as she continues her journey towards her own dreams.
What this young girl never thought about were road blocks. Or detours.
Once upon a more recent time, the young girl became an older woman. She had a young lady of her own. This young lady was filed with intelligence, determination and dreams. This young lady was named Morgan. She has a smile that was infectious. She had brains and beauty. She wanted it all and I could see no reason why she shouldn't have it all. Of course, this would make a weak story...
Morgan grew up quickly, even for a fairy tale. She suddenly turned 18 and was in her last year of high school. Her father had a good job. He worked hard to provide for the family. He worked so hard that his company thought he could be of better use in another town, all the way across the countryside from where his family currently resided. Now this little family was always up for an adventure! However, the timing of this adventure was tricky.
Morgan had spent much of her energy in the community. She wanted (and deserved) to be celebrated in this community for her high school graduation. Although Morgan is a friendly soul and makes new friends quickly, now was not the right time to do so. The move to a new village could jeopardize this celebration. This move also complicated the desire to go to college.
As you may know, college is a competitive market. There are many, many choices. Choosing a college has many factors. College size, male to female ratio, cost, location, and available studies need to be considered. Now, our fair maiden had chosen a college, a very good fit for her, in her current little countryside. It had everything she was looking for...but it was in the old countryside, not the new village. This perfect little college was now no longer a feasible choice.
While all this graduation and college thought was going on, the hard working king of the family had to move without his family to the new village. He established residency in the new village in an attempt to assist the fair maiden Morgan in choosing a college in the new village.
After some negotiating, list making, phone calls, video viewing and soul searching, the maiden decided to apply to two colleges in the new village. We will call them "Plan B" and "The Back-up Plan".
The Back-up Plan responded quickly to her application. They noticed her good grades and gave her a scholarship. Morgan was happy. Then we looked at a map and saw that The Back-up Plan was over the river and through the woods and then past the Troll bridge. It was at least a half day's journey from our new village. We also noticed that the Back-up Plan considered Morgan an outsider, not a member of the village, so they wanted to have her pay extra riches to attend.
At this point, the very loyal, very organized Queen, the mother of Morgan, sent a messenger to The Back-up Plan explaining the series of (unfortunate) events that had led us to the doors of The Back-up Plan. She explained how the King has been living in the village for quite some time even though his adoring family lived across the way, awaiting their home to be purchased by another beautiful family. The Back-up Plan was very kind. They were very helpful. They saw the predicament the young maiden was in and agreed to only take the typical amount of riches from a family from the village, not the inflated amount of riches from an outsider family. This brought a good deal of joy to the family.
Now, Plan B took longer to answer the maiden's application. In fact, it took several messengers and telegrams to get Plan B to respond at all. After what seemed like an entire harvest season, the maiden finally heard that Plan B was also interested in her attendance at their University. This was very good news! But, as happened previously, she soon realized that Plan B also wanted to charge her many more riches than the average villager because Plan B felt Morgan was an outsider.
The lovely Queen once again sent a messenger. She explained to Plan B the turmoil in the family's life. She explained the actions The Back-up Plan had taken. She hoped Plan B would be able to see the quandary surrounding this fair maiden and see that her family had taken every possible step to ensure the maiden would be a villager by the time classes started. Plan B was not so friendly. Plan B has lots of hoops and dances and paperwork that needed to be sorted out and worked through before they would consider investigating the family's plea to be considered a villager so that the fair maiden can attend Plan B. Have I yet mentioned that Plan B is where the young maiden would really like to go? Have I mentioned that Plan B is merely a hop, skip and a jump plus a rocks throw from the new village?
In the end,regardless of Plan B's decision, the fair maiden Morgan, her siblings, the hardworking King and the lovely Queen, will all live happily ever after. Morgan will still be attending college. We just don't know the distance she will need to travel and the extent of riches we will need to accumulate to get her there.
In this fairy tale we have learned that there is never a "right" time. That things worthwhile are never easy. That every detour and road block is a learning experience. Mostly we have considered how very much the lovely Queen will miss the fair maiden as she continues her journey towards her own dreams.
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